oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
