Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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