Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
