before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Im part way to drunk.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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