I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
apparently the secret to your success is patron
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
