You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
