Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I currently don't understand fingers.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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