The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
