I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
wow bdsm is so cute
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I see more hoeing in ur future
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
