did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
