My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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