Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
