im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
