Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
