Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i out mim tonsoeep
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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