God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize