maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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