Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
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She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
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i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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