What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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