You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
