It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
