evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
its not stalking. its research.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
