It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
