We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
