I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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