The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
