you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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