I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
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Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
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And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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