Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
