So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
