kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
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