You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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