He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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