Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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