I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
