I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
