I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Randomize
