Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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