just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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