normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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