Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?

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  (215): I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese. (717): Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days? http://tfl.nu/n2pa
  Replies (6) Good night (3498) Bad night (686)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest

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  (518): Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest http://tfl.nu/34vq
  Replies (12) Good night (2758) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?

  (812): View more from Indiana

  You're dead to me.

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  (317): Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up? (812): You're dead to me. http://tfl.nu/331c
  Replies (48) Good night (9005) Bad night (1046)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I got "discovered a new religion high" last night

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  (214): I got "discovered a new religion high" last night http://tfl.nu/qcb6
  Replies (23) Good night (4949) Bad night (824)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  how was your night?

  (212): View more from New York

  well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?

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  (609): how was your night? (212): well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was? http://tfl.nu/mtku
  Replies (24) Good night (1276) Bad night (4149)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?

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  (304): ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to? http://tfl.nu/yov7
  Replies (25) Good night (921) Bad night (2724)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.

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  (850): We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you. http://tfl.nu/tn9h
  Replies (18) Good night (8174) Bad night (1311)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.

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  (314): I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light. http://tfl.nu/psre
  Replies (19) Good night (3798) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.

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  (651): She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations. http://tfl.nu/80vt
  Replies (8) Good night (3328) Bad night (750)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.

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  (480): The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee. http://tfl.nu/mp6b
  Replies (4) Good night (943) Bad night (1708)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."

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  (717): He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird." http://tfl.nu/0yzz
  Replies (9) Good night (789) Bad night (3242)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.

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  (801): He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life. http://tfl.nu/2uzh
  Replies (7) Good night (452) Bad night (1326)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.

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  (218): I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday. http://tfl.nu/vjch
  Replies (4) Good night (1403) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.

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  (314): Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress. http://tfl.nu/ibp9
  Replies (17) Good night (3234) Bad night (1124)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"

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  (904): You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!" http://tfl.nu/k8t0
  Replies (4) Good night (1255) Bad night (586)

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