Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."

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  (770): We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem." http://tfl.nu/qcu7
  Replies (13) Good night (2516) Bad night (579)
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  (474): View more from

  Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.

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  (474): Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now. http://tfl.nu/0awf
  Replies (28) Good night (6540) Bad night (1113)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second

  (631): View more from New York

  i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead

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  (516): i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second (631): i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead http://tfl.nu/vulg
  Replies (28) Good night (3748) Bad night (829)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear

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  (248): she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear http://tfl.nu/c4tr
  Replies (25) Good night (6555) Bad night (1403)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes

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  (316): i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes http://tfl.nu/q5w9
  Replies (25) Good night (5491) Bad night (1624)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.

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  (301): Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover. http://tfl.nu/klzl
  Replies (21) Good night (6283) Bad night (1266)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.

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  (803): Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops. http://tfl.nu/javd
  Replies (23) Good night (5314) Bad night (1164)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.

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  (206): Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun. http://tfl.nu/5ck8
  Replies (19) Good night (1757) Bad night (690)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last

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  (410): i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last http://tfl.nu/j9db
  Replies (22) Good night (726) Bad night (3745)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.

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  (870): I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team. http://tfl.nu/hbuy
  Replies (6) Good night (2032) Bad night (427)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.

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  (216): Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds. http://tfl.nu/t6po
  Replies (3) Good night (1790) Bad night (472)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.

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  (985): Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece. http://tfl.nu/t3ih
  Replies (6) Good night (1111) Bad night (685)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.

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  (832): Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start. http://tfl.nu/gyl1
  Replies (8) Good night (586) Bad night (1177)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.

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  (585): Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job. http://tfl.nu/1yot
  Replies (1) Good night (743) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?

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  (801): Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention? http://tfl.nu/lgvd
  Replies (10) Good night (365) Bad night (719)

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