she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
