I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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