I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he told me I talked like a deaf person
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
