i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
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He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
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WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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