Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
