if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
