At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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