Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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