I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
