Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
