whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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