Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
