did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
