The maid of honor just puked.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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