i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
