Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He did a backflip because drugs
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
