Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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