Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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