this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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